I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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