Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Cover your peen. We're going out.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
