who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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