I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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