are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
