Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Come see our sink grown plant.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
