That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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