I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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