Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
