Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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