Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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