just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
