I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
operation have a gay friend backfired
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
