You don't have asthma, your pregnant
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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