I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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