the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Everyone says I win the strip club
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
