her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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