is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
