best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
