i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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