xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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