Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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