Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
