He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize