He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Randomize
