Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
