With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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