I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize