Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Bring me that man meat
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
