If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
