return my video game
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
