She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i need some magic done to my vagina
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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