East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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