exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
