no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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