Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
