We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
