My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
