I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
