that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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