So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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