So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Less talking, more tequila
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
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