Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize