i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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