I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
