just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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