We need to rekindle our bromance
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
