You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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