Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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