that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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