seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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