can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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