YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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