i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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