turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
