dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
