U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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