Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
